21:25 & 23.06.03
I feel pretty, oh so pretty!

It�s funny how some people never change. I cannot believe he is SO jealous of me! I mean, honesly, what did I ever do to him? Sure, I think he�s a flaming homosexual and I happen to know for a FACT that his best friend is. ((Yes Justin, you�ve been caught. I know the guy you made out with. Hope it was as good for you as it was for him.)) I can�t believe he is older than me and yet still acts like a twelve-year old. I really hope he seeks a therapist in the near future. He definitely needs a lot of help repressing his anger and jealousy. I can�t help it that I�m living a better life than him. I�m not stuck working a forty hour week at a grocery store scanning people�s groceries acting like I�m having a good time. I am actually having the time of my life in a boring town in Texas so I can finish my schooling for the Air Force. Then I am off to beautiful Kunia City, Hawaii. I couldn�t be happier!

Actually, I take that back. I could be happier. I could be a LOT happier if I had a companion, but that�s a whole other story. Back to the point at hand.

He thinks that I go around advertising my homosexuality. I don�t advertise it, I�m just very open about it. Ask me any question about me and I will answer it as honestly as I can. I can�t exactly be as honest as I want to now since I�m living in a deep dark closest called the MILITARY. Hahaha. So he still has this hatred for me. I guess it�s hatred�I really have no clue. I personally think it�s a jealousy problem or he was one of those kids that got made fun of in school so he seeks revenge through his computer diary. I�m not wasting my time seeking revenge. I�m using this diary as a way to suppress my feelings and get all my thoughts out in the open. I�ve been very down lately and I need a change from all this madness. This will be my safe haven to just let go of everything I�m feeling and not really worry about if people are reading it or not. Not worrying about if people understand it or not. These are MY thoughts�read them if you want. I actually would feel very obliged if you did. I love getting replies from people on what they think. I try not to get too detailed with my life and I tend to stay away from being all metaphorical and symbolic with my thoughts. As I said before, I am a very open person. There�s no use hiding things with words. If you�re going to say something: say it!

Unlike this asshole that I keep coming back to. He likes to disguise his entries to make it look like he�s not dogging someone out. He fails miserably but at least he gets a kick out of it. He actually is a very humorous guy, he just doesn�t use his humor for a good cause. He uses it to make him feel better about himself. He uses his dark and cynical humor to disrespect people. It�s a sad world when someone like him can get away with stuff like this and people just sit back and take it because they�re too scared to say anything. I�m not scared to say anything. I never was. I pretty much told him to his face that I didn�t like him, while he still hides in his diary. Oh well, I�ll let him get his pleasure. He just doesn�t know who he�s messing with. I still can�t believe that after so many months, he still talks about me. Does he do it to see if I will sneak a peek at his diary? Sure I�ve sneaked a few peeks�just to see if he�s still the same ole dork. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, he is. He still makes up little fictional stories about something that happened to him at his cool ass job that he just loves to talk about non stop. What mid-twenty year old guy do you know that loves hanging out with women that are over half his age?? I was never the type to think I�m better than someone, but I KNOW for sure I�m better than this guy! I HAVE a life.

The entry that really made me mad today was his �Cast and Crew� page that he made. He put my name under the caricatures section. Here is what he had to say about me:

Personally he�s got this all wrong. Here�s a stereotype for you: How about an openly gay guy in the Air Force�yeah, I joined the Air Force just so I could say I survived it being a gay man. ((That was sarcasm, I do it a lot.)) I am NOT a stereotype and the first words that come out of my mouth when I meet someone is usually, �Hey, what�s up?!� NOT �Hi, I�m gay. Nice to meet you. Wanna go fuck?�

forget the past <----> there is no future