22:33 & 26.06.03
Promise of a new day

I am a big movie buff! The simpliest of movies can get to me and I start thinking these big complex thoughts. Tonight in my laziness and boredom, I popped in Jurassic Park III since I got the whole Trilogy on DVD in the mail today and since I haven't seen the third one yet. Ok I do admit it wasn't as good as the first two, but it was a pretty original movie and hopefully the last in the franchise...unless they realease a "Return to Jurassic Park" in about 10 years...which you know they probably will!

Anywayz, as I was watching it, I noticed a trend that happens in a lot of movies. A divorced couple somehow get jumbled together and they end up falling BACK in love with each other. Is that actually possible in the real world? Can you fall BACK in love with someone? I don't know why I started thinking this, I just did! Don't judge me from the strange thoughts that escape my brain.

So I wonder if it is possible. I mean, why did you break up with him/her in the first place?? What was it about them that got to you so much? And what was it about them that made you fall back in love with them? I dunno...maybe sometimes people make a silly mistake and they don't realize what a mistake it was until it smacks them right in the face. It also makes me wonder how I can so easily forgive a lot of people that have hurt me in the past. I bet you right now that if Adam was to walk back into my life and say he wanted me back, I probably wouldn't hesitate for a second, KNOWING that he would probably break my heart again! Why do people do this? I know I'm not the only one that is crazy enough to do it. I would probably forgive any boyfriend that has hurt me and return into their arms. ((Except Brad, but he wasn't really a boyfriend. He wants me badly, but I like to tease him and make him think he's gonna get a piece when I come home.))

Of all my boyfriends, Adam was the one that hurt me the most. And I guess technically he wasn't really an official boyfriend, but he was a big part of my life. LOL, it reminds me of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. After Adam and I sexually fooled around, he completely turned into this big asshole...just like Angel did when Buffy and him slept together. The only difference is that Adam didn't try to kill my friends and try to kill me with his razor sharp fangs. :-)

So life is strange. Relationships are strange. LOVE is the strangest of them all. It's the one emotion that is just so hard to explain. There's so many definitions and there's so many quotes that describe love to a T. But it's so hard to put just ONE definition to love because it is just so complex.

This is totally off the subject, but what is the deal with everyone acting gay all of a sudden? Is it a new trend around here on base?? I have all these straight guys ((I assume they're straight)) playfully hitting on me and flirting with me to be funny. I guess it's just ten times more funny to me since I really am gay. First, my suite-mate asked if he could check my e-mail and I jokingly told him NO. He laughed and said, "Well can I spank you later?" and I just laughed and told him sure. Not only that, but he was in the bathroom and I yelled "Hoorah suite-mate!" and in all my shock, he yelled back, "Hoorah butt sex!" I was sooo tempted to be like, hey...wanna try it?? Then one of my friends Luigi has REALLY been acting silly. He'll walk into my dorm while I'm lying on my bed watching a movie and he'll climb into bed with me and just start touching me. We both laugh about it, but it just makes me wonder. What doesn't make me wonder?? LOL, he's a silly guy. I think in every person there is a little curiosity about what it would be like to cross over to the dark side. I think us gay people just say "Fuck it! I'm gonna find out." and we just never go back to living the straight life!! LOL...what if every straight guy experimented? I bet there's a part of him that would actually enjoy it. I mean, like my EX-friend Matthew says, "A nut is a nut."

I miss being with someone. ((I know I say that a lot.)) I'm going buck wild here just waiting to meet someone who I can hook up with. The days are getting better even though I'm turning into a big lazy ass. A few friends of mine played basketball today and they really wanted me to go, but I passed. During the week I am just so brain washed by school that I just wanna lay around.

I am now officially in Block 4. Block 3 didn't last long at all and I passed the test with flying colors. I really enjoy my class too, there's a lot of cool people. Cept that stupid bitch...but we have all the time in the world to talk about her. I'm sure she'll have an entry dedicated to only her because she's such an annoying bitch.

I'm going to bed now.

forget the past <----> there is no future