11:01 & 18.08.03
Because you are erased...

Yes I know it's been a while since I've written in this thing, but it's like I travel on these up and down parallels. When I am UP, I don't really feel like writing in this thing, I'm usually too busy to even consider writing in my diary. But when I am DOWN, I have more time to actually sit down and organize my thoughts. Right now I am down so I shall write an entry.

I also want to write an entry because of my hellacious weekend. Friday night I went to this brand new gay club that has opened up here in town. I had had a rough night cause Justin was pissing me off. He had a bad day that day and was pretty much taking it out on everyone. We went to the movies to see Freddy Vs Jason, but it was all sold out so we were all bored with nothing to do. Desi and Michelle wanted to go to the new club and I wanted to too, but Justin did not. Needless to say, Justin went home and I partied. As soon as I got there I started drinking my sorrows away like I usually do.

I started getting all mopey because no one was checking me out. This sounds really bad, but at the gay club back home, I was always the center of attention. I had guys grinding up on me on the dancefloor. This club was pretty much DEAD. There was a lot of lesbians and old trolls...there was hardly anyone out on that dancefloor. I could not let this happen, so Desi and I went out there to show everyone up. I had fun but no one was approaching me. It made me sad.

Some younger more hotter looking gay people started flocking in and I got all happy...but not ONE of them noticed me.

The next thing I know this girl comes up to me and says her friend Robert thinks I'm hott and he wants to meet me. So I proceed over there and we start talking. He owns a lot of Mexican Restaraunts around town. He was a sweetheart and he seemed to understand me. I started getting really horny and he took me to his house.

Now is the part where I'm a big SLUT.

We're gonnna skip the graphic details of what happened that night. Everyone who is gay knows what goes on in the bedroom. No need to share this info.

I woke up the next morning feeling like SHIT. I felt I had betrayed Justin even though we're not even dating. I just felt absolutely horrible and I felt used...even though I had somewhat used him to. There was just nothing romantic about what happened last night and that was NOT cool in my book. This guy would be my first official "one night stand." I have NEVER had one of those before...the most I've done with a stranger is made out...until now...

I got my ass out of there right quick. He took me back to base and it was a quick goodbye. I know I'm going to see him at the club again and I'm not going to know what to say...but life goes on.

It felt good to finally get that out of my system though. It felt good to be intimate with a guy, but then I just felt like a big whore the next morning.

Justin and I are just gonna be friends. He doesn't know this yet, but I shall let him know in due time. I just realized that I need someone more outgoing than me. He is WAY too shy and all this flirting is going nowhere. We've been seeing each other for 2 weeks and we haven't even KISSED yet! Yes, ladies and gentleman, this is the Horny Turtle Olympics.

I think I'm gonna go to the club this Friday or Saturday with my friend Val. Hopefully I can meet a guy more outgoing than me that doesn't want to stick it in my butt the first night we meet.

:-)

forget the past <----> there is no future