03:42 & 31.01.04
Let the rain come down...

It was weird seeing Mike tonight...it seems like I haven't seen him in forever and I was all nervous as I was sitting there eating. There's parts of me that wonder what I even saw in him, but there's parts of me that wishes we could have become more than friends. I also think he could care less if we're friends or not. He barely even spoke to me or even looked my way the whole night, but then again it seemed like everyone was in their own world tonight.

I'm tempted to e-mail him and ask him if he still wants to go out on a dinner date, but I'm afraid he's going to think that I'm being all obsessive again or something. I don't want to give him that power of thinking he's always in my thoughts. I do miss him and yes there was something about him that made me like him A LOT...but I have to move on because he doesn't want me like I want him.

I'm also very tempted to ask him if he wants to hook up again. He's so adorable and he's good in bed...does that make me a slut for wanting to fool around with him again?? At least I know now he doesn't want a relationship out of it! I can just enjoy it for what it is!

I think I'm just going to wait and see what happens. I do know that seeing him again just brought back a lot, but I do know that we can have a friendship so that makes me feel a lot better about things.

I told him yesterday that I'm done looking for love, and I am...but I just wish I had a companion. I'm tired of sleeping alone and not having someone to come home to every night. I can't give up hope, but it's so hard not to.

forget the past <----> there is no future