16:51 & 06.03.04
If I never see your face, if wings take you away...

Why do I always end up with these weird relationships which end up hurting me more in the end than making me happy? I am dating someone new...we shall call him Peter...anywayz, I met him online and he's not even from Hawaii. He's from California and he's coming here in June. He is the only guy in a long time that I can actually talk on the phone with forever and never get tired of hearing his voice or talking to him. We talk about anything and everything and there's times when I don't even want to hang up with him. We decided to try this out and become official...we've even used the L word...but now this is just driving me crazy.

I had planned on visiting him at then end of this month and now he's having reservations. He agreed to pay for the ticket, but I just can't seem to find a cheap ticket AT ALL. I really have no idea why because I'm JUST going to California, I'm not going halfway across the United States, but for some reason all the tickets seem outrageously priced. I'm hoping my tax return money comes soon and I might end up paying for most of it. I don't even think he's worried about how much it's going to cost, he's worried about how much time he's actually going to be spending with me because he's still going to be going to work while I'm there and he's going to want to spend ALL his time with me.

It's just driving me crazy because I don't know how long I can last without seeing his beautiful face. I have seen pictures and we talk on webcam, but it's just not the same. We talk about all the things we will do when we see each other and how we're going to act as a couple, but I don'tt hink I can talk about that anymore because it drives me insane that I can't spend time with him...

I hate this feeling because he makes me happier than anyone ever has in my whole life, but I can't even see him or hold him or kiss him.

forget the past <----> there is no future