13:29 & 17.04.04
I hope you are reading this...

I am so sorry for everything I have done to hurt you. I shouldn't have said those things about your best friend last night. I don't know why I let him affect me, why I let him get under my skin, but I just do. I guess I'm just a bitter immature asshole because he has something that I don't. He has you. He has you to see everyday. He gets to touch you, hug you, spend time with you. I guess my hatred spawns from my envy of him.

He is lucky to have someone like you in his life.

You are lucky to have a best friend that you get to spend time with everyday because some of us don't have that luxury.

I'm also jealous of the fact that he has shared something with you that I will probably never get a chance to because I have fucked things up. I want to make love to you so much and he's been there...done that...and I never will be able to SHOW you just how much I love you.

I do love you. I'm sorry I'm acting weird right now and I'm sorry I can't seem to make up my mind. I want you Matthew. I always will and I hope you can give me another chance because you mean that much to me.

Can we just go back to the way things were? I hope you can forgive me for all the hurt I have put you through, but if you can't then I will just have to understand.

Please call me once you read this.

I love you.

Will you be mine?

forget the past <----> there is no future