21:10 & 11.08.03
Tomorrow's a brand new day

Well I had a predictament tonight, but I think everything is pretty straightened out. I was THIS CLOSE to telling my friend Matt the truth about me. I don't know where Justin and I are going, but even if we don't go anyplace, I'm still going to go off base and try to meet more gay people. Matt and I were outside smoking and he was telling me how much he enjoyed my friend. We survived basic training together sleeping right next to each other, we're in the same tech school, we have the same job, we're in the same class, AND we're both going to Hawaii together. He knows I'm kinda seeing someone off base, so I just really wanted to open up to him tonight and see what would happen. He told me he could tell me anything and he doesn't know what he would do if I wasn't with him on this base.

I just wish I could talk to him about it, but I stopped myself. I called my Kimmie and she calmed me down and told me I should probably wait till I get to Hawaii if it's going to drive me so crazy. I feel like I'm living a lie. I want to be honest with him, but I just can't...not right now. This is such a small base that I'm afraid word will get out and everything will be destroyed for me. I have only told two people and that's where it ends. I am going to wait till I get to Hawaii to decided whether to tell him or not. It is a HUGE base and if word DOES get out, I can always deny it. No one will know!!

That was my dilemma tonight and it was pretty much solved.

I got to talk to Justin tonight online and it was nice. He hasn't flat out said anything, but I'm hoping he likes me. We're still on for the movies, so that's a good thing!

forget the past <----> there is no future