23:55 & 24.08.03
The sweetest sin...

I met a guy last night and his name is Josh. He is one of the sweetest people ever and he was a perfect gentlement last night, which suprised me after all I've been through. He even ASKED if he could kiss me...that he had been wanting to kiss me all night. How sweet is that? I am telling you, when our lips touched I felt like I was going to melt. It was funny because we both just started kissing more and more hungrily and when we seperated, we were both off balance. Now THAT says something! We went to this house party, but we didn't end up staying long, we kinda got kicked out cause we showed up way too late. We were waiting for his friend (my new lesbian friend) Kristi to change her clothes and she was taking her sweet ole time, so we just sat down in the driveway and I climbed in his lap and we just started making out. I have not been kissed like that in such a long time!! I'm telling you, this boy can kiss and I can't get enough of him. We went back to his place and that's pretty much all we did all night was make out and cuddle. I'm not gonna lie, there was some fooling around, but no actual intercourse. I think I'm the only gay man out there that holds intercourse to a higher level. I believe that if you really like someone, you can wait to do that because you're sharing something very special with them.

He dropped me off on base and I tried to go back to sleep in my own room...but I couldn't. He wasn't beside me so I didn't feel right sleeping by myself. I felt so alone. I didn't want to leave his bed! I didn't want him to go to work cause I was scared this might not ever happen again, but he put my soul at ease. I asked him if this was just a one night thing and he said, "I hope not."

I smile everytime I think of him and I'm scared I'm getting so attatched already. I just haven't felt like this...the last time I felt like this was when I was with Chad. I think that's what scares me. I think I became too attatched to Chad and that's what pushed him away and I don't want that to happen with Josh...but ah, if you only knew how hott this boi is and how sweet he can be.

He understands the power of a good touch. Just holding his hand and stroking his skin with my fingers sends a chill up my spine.

I called him tonight and we talked for about an hour about lots of stuff. I can actually hold an awesome conversation with this person and that makes me happy too. I wish I could have seen him tonight. Hopefully with B shift coming up, I may be able to see him more often when he gets off work. I don't know how we're gonna work things out, but I can't wait to see him again.

He could come to the base and pick me up, but he doesn't like driving at night cause the light above his lisence plate went out and Texas is anal about that here. Plus, no offense to his car, but it's a piece of shit. It's a nice car, don't get me wrong, but it's just reaching it's last dying days.

I just wanna see him again and I don't want it to be this weekend, but it just might be. I dunno, only time will tell. I asked him when I could see him again and he said whenever I wanted to.

I THINK...keyword is THINK...I think I finally found someone to be with while I'm here...

forget the past <----> there is no future