01:02 & 10.10.03
I don't wanna hear the same ole lies...

I think J and Wes are hanging out right now as I type this and that scares me. I'm trying not to let my imagination run wild, but for some reason it is really starting to get to me! I'm just imagining the endless possibilities that could happen with two gay men that are attracted to each other (as far as I know, Wes never told me how he really felt for J.)

I don't want to think about it, but I think that's why my mind is on overdrive right now. My heart has this weird sinking feeling and I'm starting to shake. This feeling is so not good. I tried calling Jon and his voice mail picked up, so that could mean many things! Both of them are online, but they are idle...UGH, I don't want to know!

I don't think I'm going over to Wes' tomorrow night...it will just get to me too much. I will not be able to see J and Wes together, especially since I'm feeling like this and I don't even know if they're together right now. I would not know what to do with myself is I actually saw them together. When I saw them dancing together at the club, I didn't really think anything of it, but now that I KNOW J is interested, it's going to make it that much worse.

Oh well, when I'm at the club Sat I will have my Desi with me! She stopped me today and asked if we were going and I excitedly said YES!! I cannot wait now cause I will have my Desi. I hardly ever get to see her since I'm B Shift.

I think I'm gonna finish watching an ep of Angel and then I'm going to bed. I have to report to one of my MTL's to see if I can get extra days of leave. I will soon be leaving Goodfellow High!!

forget the past <----> there is no future