22:48 & 11.01.04
There's gotta be more to this life...

I just got off work and I am very tired. I'm excited because I get the next three days off!! I already know my plan of the day tomorrow: I'm going to the beach early and then I'm coming back to really clean my room. My room is filthy because I have been too damn busy to take the time to clean it! I am going to vacuum, dust, and really clean my bathroom and shower. The mold is starting to take over in my shower and it's disgusting. My lazy ass suitemate is doing NOTHING when it comes to cleaning the bathroom. He lives all that up to me!!

Hopefully tomorrow I will also be giving a massage to a very lucky man. I have met this guy and he is one of the sweetest people. We both share the same weird sense of humor and he's sooo cute to top it all off. He came over last night and watched a movie with me and my friends. He was really funny and I just wanted to sit and stare in his eyes. He has really pretty eyes and a really chiseled face. He's in the Navy so he's only 10 minutes away. He actually CALLS me and we actually have decent conversations! Trust me, that's something that hasn't happened in a while here. I don't think people in Hawaii know how to talk on the phone or much less in person. They just want to fuck and get it over with. There's too many horny people here that don't want to take the time to get to know people.

Here is my plan: I plan to make friends with gay men around the island...JUST friends. We would hang out all the time and I wouldn't seem interested but maybe they might see something in my personality and fall for me. This is what I'm hoping. I am just wanting to take it slow with someone for a change because it's something I haven't done. The last time I ever took anything slow was when I was with Meghan. For some reason, ever since I came out, every relationship I have had with a guy has been so rushed...therefore it ends just as quickly as it began. I want to settle down with ONE person. The longest relationship I have had with a guy is 2 months, how pathetic is that??

forget the past <----> there is no future