12:17 & 23.01.04
Don't call me baby...

I don't think there are words enough to explain how much I love, care, and appreciate my true friends. They helped me through a lot last night and because of them, I am hoping to be a better person.

Last night I realized who my real friends were and it was a shocking realization. Just because you don't hang out with someone all the time doesn't make them a true friend. A true friend is someone who is willing to drop everything to be there for you. That is what Figgy and Bobby did for me last night.

I got into a very heated conversation with Jon and Mike pretty much at the same time. It was too much to bear because now I feel like I've upset Brandon and Jon...but honesly I had every right to be upset. I'm not going to go into great detail about why we started arguing, let's just say they did exactly what I thought they were going to do. I was ditched by two of my best friends here. I believe that Mike is playing games and he is seriously causing my friendship with Brandon and Jon to be broken up. He decided to put his two cents in last night and that really set me off.

I was about ready to cry when Meghan ((my ex-girlfriend that I was in love with for 2 years)) IMed me out of the blue just telling me good night and hoping I have a great day tomorrow. It was very odd so I asked her if she knew that something was wrong, if she knew that I was sad. She said that she did because I had made some comment to her yesterday about Uptown Girls being a "good kind of sad" movie and that was something that struck a cord with her and she said it was something I normally wouldn't say. This is when I completely broke down!! She is over a thousand miles away in Kentucky and she knew that I was upset and I've been having a hard time here lately. It was amazing. She knows me that well and I realized that she is probably the one person that knows me almost as much as I know myself. I told her I loved her and I wished she was here and she said the same. I hope we can both sit down and talk about it later because I miss her in my life. She understands me and I'll always love her. It just made me break down because I realized there are people out there that love and care about me and there are people out there that are thinking of me. I'm not alone in this world even though it seems like it everyday!

I then proceeded to go up to Figgy's room and talk to her. I almost started crying again talking to her. She calmed me down and made me realize that Mike is one big asshole and I should just cut all ties. So that's what I'm doing. I deleted him from my buddy list and I'm not going to bug him anymore. He can forget I even existed. Maybe one day we can meet up and just start all over again and manly put everything behind us.

Bobby called me too and checked up on me. He consoled with me and made me feel better. It was a nice night I guess...I still couldn't go to sleep cause I was alone in my bed and Brandon and Jon didn't stop by, but I apparentlly got over it since I eventually went to sleep.

I wonder what today will bring!

P.S. Tell me what you think about the new pic!

forget the past <----> there is no future