06:36 & 20.02.04
I'm really really hott!

Why when I look at stars am I reminded of JR? Why when I listen to sappy love songs am I reminded of Matt? I try so hard not to think about the both of them, but it kills me to NOT think about them at least once a day. I am so much better than the both of them, they should NOT be in my head as much as they are. Do I even cross their minds??

If JR is willing to fuck up our friendship over something stupid like this, then he can go right ahead. I know I am somewhat to blame, but at least I have the balls to apologize for what I did wrong. I am not going to keep him from Matt, I would never do that to a friend. I warned him about Matt and he made his own decision. He made his own bed, he can lie in it...because we all know he'll definitely be lying in a bed with Matt...but it will be his first and only time that will happen.

Matt is a slut, plain and simple.

Anywayz, enough about them. I have my own life to live and to worry about.

I got to talk to Randy today and he is doing great! Things are looking up and he could be home in a week and a half. I really feel right about this one. I feel I have more in common with Randy then I do with K and I am willing to wait with Randy. Even when we do eventually meet, we are going to take it slow. I know I can do this. I want a relationship so bad, but I want it to be perfect for once. I'm tired of just settling for the first boy that comes along. It isn't right and isn't fair to me OR him.

That is all.

forget the past <----> there is no future