14:59 & 22.02.04
How stupid could I be?

WOW...I bought the new Sarah McLachlan CD a few weeks ago and pretty much every song is a life story waiting to be told about me! Especially the very first single, "Fallen." I knew that I related to the chorus, but I never sat down and actually read the lyrics completely. It's really freaky because it's exactly what I'm going through right now. Let's take a look shall we?

Heaven Bend to take my hand

And lead me through the fire

Be the long awaited answer

To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I tried my best

But somewhere along the way

I got caught up in all there was to offer

But the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried I've fallen

I have sunk so low

I messed up

Better I should know

So don't come round here and

Tell me I told you so

We all begin out with good intent

When love is raw and young

We believe that we can change ourselves

The past can be undone

But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals

In the lonely light of morning

In the wound that would not heal

It's the bitter taste of losing everything

I've held so dear

Though I've tried I've fallen

I have sunk so low

I messed up

Better I should know

So don't come round here and

Tell me I told you so

Heaven bend to take my hand

I've nowhere left to turn

I'm lost to these I thought were friends

To everyone I know

Oh they turn their heads embarrassed

Pretend that they don't see

That it's one wrong step one slip before you know it

And there doesn't seem away to be revealed

Though I've tried I've fallen

I have sunk so low

I messed up

Better I should know

So don't come round here and

Tell me I told you so

I messed up

Better I should know

So don't come round here and

Tell me I told you so...

I DID mess up and I have sunk so low because I can't take any of this back. This song is freaky because it describes my life right now. My friends are too embarassed to hang out with me right now and I have lost some friends because of the mistakes I have been making here lately. I can't believe I have been so stupid and immature. I wish I could rewind my life like a movie and just change things. I wish I could be happy with someone right now and be able to forget the past and move on from it instead of always wanting to cause that person pain and suffering. I wish I didn't get all angry when I think of him and I wish my friends would actually be there for me instead of constantly doing other things and never calling me. I'm alone...I hate it...did I really deserve this?? Maybe Satanskid83 was right...it's my own damn fault I'm in this mess. It hurts even more to know I can't put the blame on anyone else.

forget the past <----> there is no future